on edge
When you come to the edge of all the light you have ever known
and you are about to step out into the edge of darkness
Faith is knowing that one of two things will happen:
there will be something to stand on,
or you will be taught to fly~Patrick Overton
On edge. Not a comfortable place to be. Edgy. Not a pleasant state. No getting around it…….edges are things we mostly try to avoid. “Don’t get too close to the edge”, a mother calls out to her children. “Step away from the edge”, the policeman advises the troubled teen. Edges in their most innocuous form simply mark boundaries between things different, but the more sinister side of edges is that they can also invite the real danger of rapid descent.
Sometimes we find ourselves creeping perilously close to the edge by our own volition, when life as we’ve known it in the middle has become either boring or unbearable. Other times events conspire that in effect catapult us to the very edge. This can be scary for sure. But edges in themselves are actually pretty harmless, they’re stable and solid vantage points that offer a panoramic view of what is beyond our now reality and our comfort zone. Unfortunately, there are no lazyboy recliners on edges that we might cozy ourselves into as we contemplate the landscape. Edges are typically concrete or stone, cold and rough and often windy, and we dare not rest or fall asleep while on edge or who knows where we’ll land. Edges aren’t meant to be lingered on for too long.
When we’re babies, as this little girl pictured above, edges represent no threat whatsoever. This child gleefully headed straight to the edge of the porch each and every chance she got, not the least bit concerned of the three foot drop off that would have sent her tumbling if not for her parents’ arms. Is this a matter of a child having no sense at all? I don’t think so, I think that it’s more a matter of the implicit trust in life that we all arrive here owning. We feel free to explore and uncover, to sing loudly and out of tune, to dance and leap clumsily, and wildly take chances. Because somehow we *know* that ultimately a loving universe will always support us when we act purely and in faith.
For so long now I’ve gone back and forth between timidly peeking over the edge and then scrambling back to the middle for safety. Here I am on edge once again. I don’t like it at all, but I don’t want to go back. I’ve looked out into the unknown vastness and had a tiny glimmering vision of what might be possible beyond the edge. In my heart I know there is only one step that needs to be taken…….and it’s a biggie. Will there be something for me to stand on if I take that leap? Will I really be taught to fly?
Wait a minute, there is another definition of “edgy” that I like better than the nervous or irritable one I‘ve mostly associated with the word:
Daring……..provocative……trend-setting.
Yes, I’m edgy.
~Cynthia
