a grateful heart
The family portrait session can strike fear in many a man. It’s an interesting phenomenon: the very thing a mother of young children plans for and wholeheartedly anticipates, is often that which the father of the household dreads the most. It’s not that these are bad men, these grumpy dads, who I know one day will look upon their family portraits with fondness. It’s just that they tend to focus solely on getting the job done and over with in an efficient manner, which doesn‘t necessarily work when photographing kids. So when it gets a little bumpy and takes longer than expected, things can quickly disintegrate, and the session become one of tense interactions cumulating with dad barking out “smile dammit”.
I am learning though, to not make assumptions myself about how a session will go. I headed to this family shoot sort of steeling myself for a potential grumpy dad situation. Three kids under five, dad taking the morning off work at mom’s insistence, hot sticky start to the day…….the ingredients were all there. Once I arrived I became even more worried. Only palm trees in the yard with few areas of open shade for soft lighting……sprinklers were on leaving the entire yard saturated and muddy……the dog was barking, the baby was teething, the twins fighting and whining. Mom didn’t like dad’s shirt and made him go back and change. “Where are your shoes…..you can’t leave your hair like that…….those underwear won’t work under a white dress“, echoed down the halls while the baby fussed uncontrollably. It was the height of pandemonium.
Only a few family shots had been taken when the baby erupted into a full fledged meltdown and the mom took her indoors to tend to her. I’d been there over an hour with little to show for it. And then I glanced over at the dad left alone with his remaining daughters. He didn’t look grumpy at all. He wasn’t looking at his watch. He seemed not to have noticed that the session wasn’t going so smoothly. He was purely enjoying the morning away from the office and completely engaged with his girls. They were singing a song in French together, laughing and tickling, and oblivious to anything other than the joy of each other and the moment at hand.
I see many people professing gratitude almost as an excuse to boast to others of their accomplishments and glittery possessions. “Let me tell you about my big promotion, my impressive achievement, the award I received……I’m just so grateful. Take a look at my fancy new car, my runway model wife, my to-die-for vacation getaway……boy am I fortunate, don‘t you agree?” But what I witnessed in this dad was gratitude at its most basic and profound level. His attitude simply exuded “thank you”. It was as if with every breath he took he was breathing in the beauty of his life, and then exhaling appreciation. He lives in a gorgeous home and has a most enviable lifestyle, but these were clearly not the things he values the most. The remarkable thing was that his gratitude didn’t hinge on things being perfect at all–it was apparent he was in love with his family and his life for exactly what it was, messiness and all.
The lesson of this shoot to me was the power of appreciation. Nothing new in that message, but one that bears noticing again nonetheless. Because I truly believe it is only when we are in a state of genuine heartfelt appreciation that we may attract more and more of what it is that we want. Gratitude snowballs until one day we look around and suddenly realize that we have manifested the life of our dreams, one sincere thank you at a time. It’s not what we have to be grateful for that matters…….it’s only that we are grateful.
I am posting today as a reminder to myself to try to become more conscious of cultivating a grateful heart. I came to this session preparing for a grumpy dad and returned home with a renewed sense of how wonderful life can be if only we see it as such. So I view these images again to smile and remember what appreciation looks like. His arms are full, his life abundant, and his heart overflowing with gratitude.
~Cynthia
