forgive

 
First off I want to apologize for being so negligent in responding to the wonderful and encouraging emails that I’ve received lately regarding my work. For the past couple of months I’ve been in the midst of the biggest crisis/challenge of my life. I hesitate to bring this up here for fear of it coming off as a plea for sympathy, or as an excuse for my inconsiderateness, but it’s starting to feel dishonest to post to this photo-journal and not admit the truth about this very devastating and often debilitating struggle I’m currently contending with.

The other day I was driving home after receiving particularly distressing news and was close to home when I made a right hand turn at a red light. I consider myself to be a very good driver, but no doubt was distracted and as I made the turn I realized an oncoming vehicle was approaching from behind, and having to slow down a bit because of my entering the lane. She didn’t have to slam her brakes in the least, but still came right up to my bumper and laid on the horn in an excessive manner that let me know of her extreme disapproval. A mile down the road, as I entered the turn lane to pull into my neighborhood, she raced up beside me, rolled down the window and yelled obscenities in my direction with one hand on the horn, and the other giving me the finger.

I only bring up this meaningless encounter because it got me thinking of how we react to one another in unkind ways when we just don’t know the whole story or have any idea of all someone else may be going through. Is anything ever gained by “teaching people a lesson”, or dramatically pointing out the error of their ways? I don’t think so.

I hope to come through the other side of this most difficult time of my life being less judgmental and more forgiving than I was previously, remembering always that we never see the complete picture of what is in front of us. One seemingly insignificant act of kindness can make a world of difference to someone who feels isolated, lost and frightened. So despite my lack of response to the kind words I’ve received from those who’ve stumbled onto lightheaded, please know how appreciated your thoughtfulness really is.

 

~Cynthia