soft release

 
I can feel it when I’m trying too hard. And I understand that nothing worthwhile ever comes from forcing things, whether this be photographing a child or life in general. So the practice is to step back, slow my breathing, and let go. See what’s in front of me from the perspective of allowing what is to simply be. Not altering it, but giving it room to expand and wiggle around a bit. And then waiting. Moving in at the moment when expectation has softened from its previous solid state and slowly becomes fluid. Only then am I truly ready to photograph.

Being aware of this doesn’t necessarily mean I always follow the practice. I still sometimes try to push my agenda through despite the voice inside whispering, “you know it doesn’t work that way”. The ego can be loud and demanding, and insist that strong action is needed for progress to be made. And it seems I haven’t yet figured out the difference between healthy perseverance and pushing against what is ultimately immovable.

I do know that there are endless ways of seeing. I can stand rigidly in one spot and frustrate myself and others by trying to make something work that clearly isn’t, or I can loosen my firm stance, move around and look for a new vantage point. Softly releasing what was never mine to grasp.

 
~Cynthia