chill, cynthia

 
I decided that lightheaded could benefit from being a bit more *lighthearted* after yesterday’s entry. Geez, what gets into me sometimes?

It’s a reckless trait, thinking and feeling and expressing in such a random and overt manner here. Looking at myself and not always liking what I’m seeing. Although I’m reminded of a quote by Elie Wiesel that says, “Not to transmit an experience is to betray it“. I like this because it reinforces my belief that it is only in the transmitting of one’s personal experiences that some kind of strange beauty and light beneath the rubble might potentially be discovered.

Much of the time it feels like I’m bumping around in the universe rather aimlessly creating nothing of any real value. But there is this insistent feeling that if I keep at it and refuse to let fear keep me from conveying my experiences openly and honestly, something within me may eventually emerge that bumps into someone else moving them in some way, and a real connection may be made. I don’t think creativity is so much about the “thing” that manifests–the painting, the photograph, the sculpture or song. To me it’s about the sense of connection it invokes. To create anything that awakens a long dormant feeling in another with a gentle tap on the shoulder and a whisper that breathes “remember”……….that is something to aspire to.

While I’ve been not-so-gracefully coming to terms with the notion that we are in fact ultimately on a solo journey and can only “rescue” ourselves from whatever it is we feel we need rescuing from, there are things I know we can do for one another. We can inspire. We can uplift. And most of all we can love passionately without hesitation, embarrassment or regret.

Not small things at all.

 
~Cynthia