fascination

 
Years ago I was enrolled in a b/w photography class where each week’s assignment was to go out and shoot a roll of film on a specified subject and return the following week with the best 2 or 3 images made. I secretly harbored ambitions to become a photographer at that time, and so really wanted to excel at each given task. I took these assignments most seriously, with careful application of the rules of photography and meticulous attention to correct exposure, bracketing every scene I photographed. And every week I grew more disappointed with my results. The photographs I made were lackluster and I knew it.

The last assignment given was a window lit portrait to be made of a fellow student in the class. As with all the others, I began this assignment very methodically, thinking it through and wanting to create the perfect portrait. I was photographing a rather attractive young woman, who I was confident would be an easy model. After carefully posing her and shooting a few frames where it was clearly evident she knew how to perform and smile for a camera, I knew I wanted something more. It was then that I stopped thinking of the assignment and all the rules that went with it and started imagining how I might see her differently, more honestly.

The following week when I handed the instructor my three chosen portraits of the young woman, he took what felt like an eternity pouring over each one, then finally looked up at me and smiled saying, “Now I know what fascinates you!”

This was the true beginning of my journey into photography. I don’t remember much else I learned from that particular course but I never forgot those words from my instructor. Prior to that time I was all over the place with photography, I wanted to be perfect at everything and as a result I excelled at nothing. Now I understand that to photograph anything well you must first and foremost be obsessively fascinated with your subject matter. Only then will your images pulse with a beating heart……your own unique heart.

It is for this reason that parents can often create quite remarkable photographs of their own young children……they are utterly fascinated by them. Seeing with eyes of fascination changes ones perspective on everything. So when I might be feeling disinterested at the start of a shoot, perhaps tired or preoccupied with some personal matter I only have to exclaim, “how fascinating you are!” as I look upon my little subject, and doors open through which we might travel together someplace magical.

~Cynthia