places I’ll remember
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All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all
~John Lennon & Paul McCartney
I listened to the Beatles a bunch this weekend, and I suppose it was this that got me started feeling nostalgic. It’s risky business spending time reminiscing like that, because before I know it present time can’t reach me at all, and then I miss the gift of now in addition to missing what was in the past.
Still it happens, even when I know better. And a good bout of nostalgia wouldn’t be complete without missing mom. It’s difficult to even put the words “missing mom” down, because I look at them on the page with the full realization they can’t begin to touch the feeling they are attempting to describe. There are places I’ll remember, where language can’t travel with me. How it was to be her daughter is one such place.
I see now that in a sense it was her physical presence that kept me tethered to the world, and without it I’ve somehow gone adrift. I’ve floated high above it all, and just like a balloon that has slipped from a child’s grasp, I don’t believe there is any returning to exactly where or what I was before. Is this a part of where the nostalgia originates……….missing an earlier version of oneself?
I listened to lots of great music from the Beatles this past weekend, but perhaps I’ll choose something current to play today.
~Cynthia
