where respite resides

 
The afternoon had been a frenzy of activity and I was running behind schedule. A heavily congested drive to the airport further slowed me, and when a torrential downpour appeared out of nowhere I was genuinely concerned I might miss my flight. I finally arrived at the airport, parked my vehicle and raced with heavy bags in hands to the shuttle. From there I alternated between sprinting through corridors and waiting in lines. And sure enough something on me or about me set off airport security, requiring a thorough “pat down” inspection before being allowed to continue what now would become a full out run to the gate.

With a huge sigh of relief I found myself seated on the plane just in time for take off. I was comfortably beside the window with a quiet businessman studying papers on the aisle seat, a space between us, and thinking I’d finally found respite. Suddenly a very harried mother with crying toddler appeared on the plane, desperately needing two seats in a row. Since the plane was full the man beside me was asked if he might move to make room for the mother and son.

Within minutes I was aware this wasn’t going to be a peaceful flight after all. The toddler beside me cried and flopped around incessantly, his heavy-duty Elmo sneakers (what are those things made of anyway?), banging into my arm, legs, and at one point squarely into my stomach. Mushy crackers he’d sucked on and cast aside landed in my lap and on my shoes. The frustrated young mother had decided that loudly commentating every single second of the flight to her tired and anxious son would comfort him, which clearly wasn’t working though she continued on nonetheless. I will admit to having several unkind thoughts, that if made known to the general public just might put me out of business as a kid photographer.

The truth was I didn’t want to be “in transit” at all, and my bad attitude was simply reflecting this discord. My mind had been running full speed going over all the steps needed to get from point A to point B, and what would be required of me once I got there. The complexity of it all had me futuring…..just wanting the whole thing to be over and done with. I was aware that I was doing this, and not at all happy with the direction of my thoughts, but the more I “tried” to seek respite the more it eluded me.

Towards the end of the flight, as I’d been attempting over and over again to read a page in my book with little success, something prompted me to look out the window. I was unprepared for what was before me and the sight of it literally suppressed both my shallow breaths and racing mind. It wasn’t yet dark but the full moon was already rising, and just at the point when my eyes left my book and glanced out the window, this rotund moon appeared to be carefully balancing on a thin band of the clearest, most brilliant cobalt blue imaginable. Below the narrow strip of deep blue were delicate puffy pink clouds with bursts of florescent orange beneath. Above the blue line a soft and gentle baby blue sky that looked straight out of a watercolor painting. I can honestly say I’ve never in all my years seen anything quite like this before. For a second I considered leaping out of my seat to the overhead bin and grabbing a camera, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the scene in front of me.

The portrait painted in the sky lasted maybe ninety seconds before it evolved into a more muted, though still beautiful arrangement. My eyes remained glued to the magical panorama outside the plane’s window for the longest time, and when I eventually glanced over at my seatmate, I realized he’d finally succumbed to the sleep he’d needed so badly and all was well.

Where does respite reside? It’s anywhere and everywhere, if only I’ll just stay present and open to receiving whatever package it might be wrapped in. In the moment that I stumbled upon the moon elegantly resting on a ribbon of blue I didn’t need anything else to happen to be okay. It was worth the price of an airline ticket. It was worth the way I struggled to get to that seat. The magnificent beauty of that sliver of time cleansed me of the frantic pace I’d allowed myself to get caught up in, and I found a respite that stayed with me for days afterward.

 
~Cynthia