please wait

 
Probably the most repeated word I speak over the course of a child photo session is “wait”. Pleadingly, desperately, sometimes manipulatively…….”please wait”. I know in advance that attempting to stop the movement of a toddler for long at all is most often futile, but still the words slip out. With camera I’m trying to contain an energy that is ever-flowing and expanding, arrogantly thinking I can stop time with the pressing of the shutter release. Does a successful portrait suggest that I’ve achieved this?

I have a complicated and paradoxical relationship with time. With all my talk of wanting to live in the moment it seems I spend a great deal of energy trying to hurry through what I perceive as dull and meaningless, and then with equal vigor striving to freeze that which I perceive as interesting, exciting or thoughtful. I wonder–if I was finally able to reconcile my confusion about time would I become a better photographer? Or is it perhaps the friction experienced regarding time that is ultimately the catalyst for creative expression?

As usual, I’m left with more questions than answers.

 
~Cynthia