once more with feeling

 

I suppose it’s a given that those of us with somewhat artistic tendencies experience periodic episodes of doubt and defeat. Being sensitive to the subtlest changes in vibration causes one to feel everything so very acutely. Hot and cold, bitter and sweet, joy and sorrow, all penetrate my thin unprotected being to extreme degrees. Sometimes I can embrace this in myself and even cherish the qualities that give such intensity to my experience of life. And other times…….well.

Ever so softly she calls me forward, urging me out from the safety of where I’ve retreated again from the cold harshness of the world. Who is she? Photography? My muse? Or is it God? “Pick up your camera, Cynthia,” she gently encourages, “and let yourself feel everything”.

Focus.

It’s in this place of total focus to that which is in front of me that I finally find peace. All else falls away. Here there’s no fatigue or hunger nor fear and disillusionment. I’m no longer looking outside myself for acceptance. I’m looking from within.

Focus.

How much beauty, how much truth, can I extract from this very moment?

Focus.

Here I’m awakened, and I meet myself again. Here, I meet God. Here, there is no separation between us.

 

And so it goes, once more with feeling.

~Cynthia