young actor

 

I rarely do headshots. Actually for the past several years I’ve declined any requests for them so could more accurately say I never do headshots. They simply don’t interest me, and I feel there are so many other photographers who excel in this area that it just makes sense to leave this work to them. But when this actor’s mother phoned saying her son was visiting from LA and wanted me to update his headshots and do a few promotional shots, I quickly and surprisingly answered, “okay”.

A minute hadn’t passed when I already wondered what I was thinking. His mom is a portrait client of mine, but I had every good reason to politely turn down her request. This was last minute during my busiest time of year after all……and I don’t do headshots. So in my immediate regret I listed several stipulations to agreeing, emphasizing it would need to be a quickie shoot.

The closer it got to the session date the more I lamented my decision. I couldn’t figure out what had gotten into me, and it felt like I’d added pressure to myself unnecessarily. It would be fair to say that in the moments prior to meeting this young man I was downright grumpy about the whole situation I‘d found myself in.

We began the shoot awkwardly, and I knew the work would reflect this if I didn’t do something about it. So I stopped photographing and asked questions about his life instead. He told me how he knew from the first grade that he was born to be an actor. How he’s never once wavered in this knowledge, and how he packed his car and headed to LA from Florida without a place to live or even a real plan. “I had no choice“, he explained, “I had to follow my dream”. When he looked me straight in the eyes and emphatically declared that failure isn’t an option, I believed him. And then I knew why I impulsively agreed to the shoot. It wasn’t just about the pictures. I needed to hear this, needed to see the raw conviction in his face as he said it.

I am a person driven by passion and the need to express this fully, but with an incessant thinking side that can all to often fill me with doubt and fear. I really don’t like this about myself and wish I could conquer it. Sometimes I feel I never will. But the voice inside won’t be quieted, and it’s this voice that says yes before my rational side can list the reasons to say no. I would do well to remember to trust my first impulses more often.

~Cynthia

When the young actor and I returned to photographing it was fast and fun and flowing. We ended with a nice assortment of head-shotty and commercial looking images, but I kinda like this outtake because of the naturalness of his warm and vibrant smile. I’ll be watching for this face in the movies. Ü