enough
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His expression says it all: I’ve pushed the limits of the photo session a bit too far. Again. I think I’m actually getting worse about accepting that it’s time to call a shoot complete. When the requisite shots have been done and I’m free to play it feels as if school has just let out for summer and I don‘t want it to end. Especially following a family shoot as this one was, where a good deal of the time was spent simply trying to arrange a baby and two other young children into some kind of artful arrangement together while also having them appear happy to be there.
One on one time photographing a child, any child, is heaven to me. I lose all track of time and common sense when I‘m in this place. My crazy mind is still for once, my focus intense but at the same time at peace with what is, and I have a complete sense of trust that is difficult for me to attain otherwise. I only want to keep observing, full of desire to get closer to the divine, and hoping more than anything to create something that might possibly convey the awe I feel in the presence of it.
I really can’t imagine a more suitable profession for me than to be a photographer, most especially a kid photographer. When I think back on my youthful desire to be a photojournalist, I understand now how inappropriate that would have been for my overly sensitive personality. I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older that I need to be extremely careful about what I observe, because things affect me to a greater degree than perhaps is normal. It’s for this reason that I never watch the local news, avoid violent movies, and cringe when I hear people loudly arguing. I simply can’t bear to witness the ways that people are unkind to one another. Some people call this living in denial. But I like to call it being a “selective sifter”, where I only allow myself to look at those things that make me feel good in doing so.
What could be better for a girl like me, than to be paid to look for God in the faces of children, and reveal his immense goodness in the images I make. So if my shoots run on a bit too long and wear on my little subject‘s patience, it’s only because I want to fill myself up with their celestial beauty before being thrust into the real world once again.
~Cynthia
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
~ Jalaluddin Rumi
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